We were amazed when Cloey started to sleep through the night (i'm talking nine hours straight) at about two months. She continued this miraculous feat until about a month ago. She will no longer sleep more than three hours at a time and typically wakes up four to five times each night. This has been so hard for me and for Daniel. I have read everything I have the energy to read about getting babies to sleep. I am very tired, very frustrated and just plain desperate. I feel that I cannot go on doing this and keep my hobbies, my job and my sanity. If you are a mother or have any experience with children please tell me what worked for you. Please send the baby whisperer my way so I can give her a faceful of reality.
The facts:
1. Cloey slept in a baby swing (swinging at first and later not) and has only recently transitioned to sleeping on a mattress and in her crib. This may contribute to more wakings although she does fine on it for some of her naps (sleeping 1.5 to 2 hrs.). Also she started the night wakings before transitioning her to the mattress although we were on vacation at the time. Too many variables! I am very tempted to regress to the swing seat and just give it a try. But it is only recommended for babies up to 25 lbs. and she is a good 20+ .
2. Cloey has to be nursed and rocked until she is 100% asleep before we can lay her down. Even still any wrong move or noise or bad luck while laying her down will cause her to wake up forgetting that she was ever tired in the first place.
3. We have tried "cry-it-out" techniques but some or all of the following contraindictations apply a.) we are too soft to go through with it b.) she cries (screams/wails) too intensely c.) she is capable of getting up and moving around her crib, kneeling and hanging to the bars
4. We have also tried co-cleeping, and nursing her when she wakes but I hate feeling trapped and not being able to roll over because she is right there and do not sleep well and do not wake feeling rested
5. There is no window in her room and I wonder if the lack of daylight and darkness cues affect her knowing when its time to sleep and time to be up
6. We have never been able to do a schedule. She dictates when she is capable of going to sleep. And often this is very late. There is no way for me to convince her to fall asleep if she is not ready. There is no way to keep her up when she is tired- not to say she falls asleep but that she becomes a very wearing whining banchee. (We did find for awhile that a short 30 min. nap in the evening did the trick but no longer prevails to keep her asleep at night).
On a positive note,
7. We do stick to a pretty consistent bedtime routine however that consists of cereal a bath and then nursing and rocking. (Also used to include a walk before the weather got too cold.)
8. A few rare times I have heard her cry in the night and waited a few minutes before going in and she went back to sleep on her own.
I know this blog is supposed to be a happy place, but just be glad I am leaving the nipple pinching, biting and tantrum throwing out (for now).
me and the babe
the man we love
5 comments:
I have learned a few things about sleep from my little London but I'm sure I'll be coming to you for advice this next time around because I hear every baby is SO different. What I have noticed is that she goes through phases. Sometimes she sleeps really well and goes to bed with no problems. Other times, I'm ripping my hair out. It sounds like you're at the second stage right now! I remember when London was probably about Cloey's age having the same type of problems. She would still sleep through the night, but trying to get her to sleep in the first place and if she did wake up was NOT fun! I don't really have any great suggestion except try to be as consistent as possible and get in a good routine. I can't say that will fix the problem, but it might help a little. I never nursed London so I don't have any experience on nursing a child back to sleep. I did let her cry it out a few times and that was awful and sometimes lasted for hours. Eventually, the phase passed and she became a good sleeper again...at least for a while. Also, maybe she's teething or going through a growth spurt so she wakes up more often. I don't know. But you can call me if you ever need someone to vent to. I understand! Good luck! Email me if you need my phone number.
Leah did the same thing at about the same times. Started sleeping through the night around 2 months and then regressed. It was very frustrating. Do you use the night time bath and lotion for her? If not, try it. It helped a little bit. Mosty, it's a phase, and you will probably just have to deal with it. Just try and keep your routine as well as possible. We are actually back to this stage with Leah, we finally got her sleeping through the night agian around 10months-a year, but now and 20 months, we have started the not sleeping through the night thing all over again! BLAAH! It stinks, but, you are a great Mom, and you can do it! I know you can! Hang in there, and if you need to talk, call me!
Oh I have so much advice! But I hate giving advice!
First-Swaddling. Do you already do it? the moosh was swaddled well into her first 18 months.
Second-White noise machine or fan. Also swear by.
Third-Growing pains. a possibility? That and teething, all sleep wreckers for any age.
Fourth-In my house when it's bedtime the lights are out and life is boring. When it's day the lights are on and life is fun. No lights on at night ever ever.
Man, that was hard.
This too shall pass, I was you three years ago, and it feels like it will never end. Fun huh?
Hi Stacey. I think Moosh in indy got it right all the way.
Cloey bug is going to eventually find her own little groove and be a good sleeper. But if I had teeth cutting my gums I would be less likely to want to cooperate and sleep...
You are a super duper great mom. The best.
Cute blog Stacey. Sorry I have no advice for baby sleeping. I'm too far out of the business. Thanks for sharing
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